Helena of the Lake

  I've been living abroad for fifteen years, I haven't been home(my country) in over seven years. Am I ready to start over again? I'm still me, but different. When so many people tell you not to come back it makes the decision so much harder. It's always been easy for me to adapt to a new situation, but going back to a familiar one, I'm not so sure. I don't want to fall back into old patterns and routines, that's for sure. I want to do new things, different things. Is it possible? Of course, anything is possible if you set your mind to it. Sound familiar, doesn't it? This city has been my home for the last seven years and I haven't felt this comfortable and content in a very long time. If only it wasn't a city in another country, in a time of so much uncertainty. I have to believe that God has a plan for my life, he always does. He knows my heart, but will I accept where He takes me? God only knows! Keep the faith!

Just breathe! When I start repeating those two words then you must know I'm not doing so well anymore. I retreat, get quiet and try to stay calm while taking deep breaths. It's been nearly a year since this all started and things are looking up, but we still have a long way to go. I am so grateful for surviving this year, but I'm also so scared of the unknown future that lies ahead of me. Living here in these challenging times have been amazing, but decisions have to be made, actions need to be taken. As always my life is in His hands. I have plunged headfirst into many unknown situations, but this one........it's different. I never imagined that going back to my own country would make me feel so nervous. God help me! Just breathe!

  Daughter, sister, wife, mother and grandmother. What a privilege it is to hold just one or two of those titles, let alone all of them. Men might rule the world, but women, we are the rocks, the foundation of what holds families together. And family is where it all starts. That is where you learn respect, love, moral values, discipline and how to distinguish between wrong and right. Your mother, your sister, your aunts and your grandmothers play such a vital role in who you become. From an early age you watch, you learn and you copy the behaviour of the very people who love you and protect you. You fall, they pick you up, you cry, they hold you and tell you everything is going to be just fine. How blessed are we to have these amazing people in our lives? Being a strong woman in a world ruled by men, that takes hard work, guts and willpower. Do not play small, do not let anyone hold you back! Happy Women's Day!

  It's March! How is it possible? It was just Christmas and New Year yesterday! Slow down.......slow down, please! So much to do and so little time. Didn't we talk about this before? The first two months went by in a flash and it's making me anxious. I'm still living life in limbo, but the time to make serious decisions is coming closer and closer. I don't want to be an adult, I don't want to make the decisions. Can someone else do it for me, please? So many people are in the same situation in these uncertain times and it's so scary and challenging to navigate through this maze of obstacles lying in front of us. Faith, trust and belief, that is all we have and hopefully all we need to get us to the other side. This is the one time I don't think baby steps are going to work. The clock is not going to stop ticking and the only way through this is taking that leap and jumping. What's the worst that can happen? See you on the other side!